The Chemical Nature of Love; Do We Control Love or Does Love Control Us?
Inspired by the film What the Bleep do We Know, people are asking, do we control love or does love control us? It suggests that human nature is drawn to love, because of a biological and chemical response in our body, and one that we, don’t have any control over. (Great! So now we have an excuse for falling for the “wrong” person?) Well according to the research of Helen Fisher of the University of New Jersey, it’s not that simple, but there may be more to it than poor judgment. Believe me, I am by no means an expert in chemistry, and with a year of being single, I am wondering if I know anything about it at all! Not to mention, I tend to put most of my reasoning to the universe’s power, (it makes a bad date less traumatic). However, I was asked to research this topic, and so, I opened my mind to the possibility that, in all the ups and downs of love, it may all be a matter of…science.
I began looking into the phenomenon of the biochemical connection to love. In her book, Why We Love-The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, Fisher, explains that, those “crazy” feelings of love, the ones revealed when we are interested in someone; (stomach turning, palms sweating, hearting racing), are all based on different chemical releases in our body. The information is nothing new, but hopefully this little overview, gives an understanding about what is going on when we want to get it on. Think of it as Love Chemistry 101 - broken down into three stages:
Lust – is driven by the sex hormones testoertone and oestrogen which get us out, and looking for anything.
Attraction – is when people fall in love, it’s the I can’t eat, don’t need to sleep, would rather day dream stage. A group of neurotransmitters are involved here: Dopamine (also activated by cocaine and nicotine), Norepinephrine (also known as adrenalin…heart racing, sweating), and Serotonin (low levels of serotonin are also associated with anxiety and depression).
Attachment – is what takes over after the initial attraction dies down – and it tells us if a relationship is going to last. (Even though we long for those passionate feelings of attraction, it’s important to move to this stage of we’d never get anything done!) At this point, hormones released by the nervous system: Oxytocin (an aside-released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth, helps bond mother and child) but it is also released by both sexes during intamacy, which could promote bonding when adults are intimate, and Vasopressin important in the long term commitment stage.
Even more interesting is the possibility that love is addictive. Robert Palmer told us we’re addicted to love; I just didn’t know he was serious. Fisher says, that it is very possible for people to feel addicted to a person or a situation because those natural highs we feel are due to chemical responses. The ironic thing is, that in order to feel all those crazy, exciting “highs” of love, that we all long for, the flip is that we also feel the hurt and withdrawal of those feelings when…that situation or person is gone.
In love, I have felt the highs and I have defiantly felt the lows. I have felt the angst, as well as the butterflies. And sure, now, I can document the scientific reasons of these feelings. However, that is only one part of a whole. When I experience people, there are many components that are associated with their presence in my life. I like the fact that when I am in love, just hearing their name makes me smile – regardless of the chemical being released in my brain. There is something truly magical about that. Still, it’s great ammo to have in your back pocket, when you’re wondering why the heck you can’t seem to get over someone. I figure, I’ll just blame it on weird science.
©Desiree Daniel March 4, 2005EventLife! publication March 11, 2005 www.eventpub.com
I began looking into the phenomenon of the biochemical connection to love. In her book, Why We Love-The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, Fisher, explains that, those “crazy” feelings of love, the ones revealed when we are interested in someone; (stomach turning, palms sweating, hearting racing), are all based on different chemical releases in our body. The information is nothing new, but hopefully this little overview, gives an understanding about what is going on when we want to get it on. Think of it as Love Chemistry 101 - broken down into three stages:
Lust – is driven by the sex hormones testoertone and oestrogen which get us out, and looking for anything.
Attraction – is when people fall in love, it’s the I can’t eat, don’t need to sleep, would rather day dream stage. A group of neurotransmitters are involved here: Dopamine (also activated by cocaine and nicotine), Norepinephrine (also known as adrenalin…heart racing, sweating), and Serotonin (low levels of serotonin are also associated with anxiety and depression).
Attachment – is what takes over after the initial attraction dies down – and it tells us if a relationship is going to last. (Even though we long for those passionate feelings of attraction, it’s important to move to this stage of we’d never get anything done!) At this point, hormones released by the nervous system: Oxytocin (an aside-released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth, helps bond mother and child) but it is also released by both sexes during intamacy, which could promote bonding when adults are intimate, and Vasopressin important in the long term commitment stage.
Even more interesting is the possibility that love is addictive. Robert Palmer told us we’re addicted to love; I just didn’t know he was serious. Fisher says, that it is very possible for people to feel addicted to a person or a situation because those natural highs we feel are due to chemical responses. The ironic thing is, that in order to feel all those crazy, exciting “highs” of love, that we all long for, the flip is that we also feel the hurt and withdrawal of those feelings when…that situation or person is gone.
In love, I have felt the highs and I have defiantly felt the lows. I have felt the angst, as well as the butterflies. And sure, now, I can document the scientific reasons of these feelings. However, that is only one part of a whole. When I experience people, there are many components that are associated with their presence in my life. I like the fact that when I am in love, just hearing their name makes me smile – regardless of the chemical being released in my brain. There is something truly magical about that. Still, it’s great ammo to have in your back pocket, when you’re wondering why the heck you can’t seem to get over someone. I figure, I’ll just blame it on weird science.
©Desiree Daniel March 4, 2005EventLife! publication March 11, 2005 www.eventpub.com
posted by Desiree Daniel @ 4:48 PM
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