Saying Goodbye
Change means the beginning of something new. It also means saying good-bye to what was. When you end something, whether it is a relationship, a career, a vacation…a piece of your identity goes with it.
During an interview with an extraordinary woman, I asked about the scariest and most daring thing she had ever done. She wore composure like a finely pressed suit. Poised and confident, her mind raced. Others had answered with everything from water rafting to overseas traveling, so I was expecting almost anything. She sat there, trying on the question word-by-word, staring at me. I wasn’t sure if she was stuck, or if it was something else was happening, but it took her a moment to speak.
As she fought the well in her eyes, and the scratch in her throat, she apologized, “I didn't know it went this deep. It was ending my marriage. You see, when you divorce, you lose your past, your present and your future.”
Her words just sat in the room staring at me. We could both feel the emotions stirring. Although her divorce was on old story, it was many years ago, the affect it had on her was very present. It changed everything she once knew, and challenged her to trust the unknown.
When change happens, you linger, in between here and there as if in no man’s land. I’ve been stuck there before, it wasn’t a divorce but it was a breakup. And as I worked on the “new Des”, I struggled with three fates. Fighting for my future, resolving my past, and trying to understand my present. In fact somedays I feel like I am still there. It’s a tough concept to accept with ease – change. Good in theory, but a little hard on the system.
When we embrace new things, the world we know looks different. And even though change is good, as it offers possibility, and growth, our bodies, minds, emotions, get shaken up in the transition. We can forget who we are. A friend once said, in reference to his break up, “well, she moved on, but I am still packing.” It was a brilliant metaphor. She, moving on with life, he, still sorting through the left over pieces of what was. As this fall approaches, and many of us take on the changes that come with the wind, be patient in the transition. Trust the process, and know that even though you may be saying good-bye to one thing, something new is on its way.
© Desiree Daniel September 2, 2005
During an interview with an extraordinary woman, I asked about the scariest and most daring thing she had ever done. She wore composure like a finely pressed suit. Poised and confident, her mind raced. Others had answered with everything from water rafting to overseas traveling, so I was expecting almost anything. She sat there, trying on the question word-by-word, staring at me. I wasn’t sure if she was stuck, or if it was something else was happening, but it took her a moment to speak.
As she fought the well in her eyes, and the scratch in her throat, she apologized, “I didn't know it went this deep. It was ending my marriage. You see, when you divorce, you lose your past, your present and your future.”
Her words just sat in the room staring at me. We could both feel the emotions stirring. Although her divorce was on old story, it was many years ago, the affect it had on her was very present. It changed everything she once knew, and challenged her to trust the unknown.
When change happens, you linger, in between here and there as if in no man’s land. I’ve been stuck there before, it wasn’t a divorce but it was a breakup. And as I worked on the “new Des”, I struggled with three fates. Fighting for my future, resolving my past, and trying to understand my present. In fact somedays I feel like I am still there. It’s a tough concept to accept with ease – change. Good in theory, but a little hard on the system.
When we embrace new things, the world we know looks different. And even though change is good, as it offers possibility, and growth, our bodies, minds, emotions, get shaken up in the transition. We can forget who we are. A friend once said, in reference to his break up, “well, she moved on, but I am still packing.” It was a brilliant metaphor. She, moving on with life, he, still sorting through the left over pieces of what was. As this fall approaches, and many of us take on the changes that come with the wind, be patient in the transition. Trust the process, and know that even though you may be saying good-bye to one thing, something new is on its way.
© Desiree Daniel September 2, 2005
posted by Desiree Daniel @ 1:03 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:00 AM,
Testing said…
Thank you. I am going through a divorce and this helped through a tough moment.
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