Asking the Question Why

When was the last time you asked yourself why-why do you want the things you want? Kind of a tongue twister of a question, but it is an important one. I was reminded on the relevance of “why” while attending a wine and cheese last week. With a glass of Pinot Gris in one hand and a goat cheese’d cracker in the other, my lovely host and I were traveling through a deep conversation, about work. While sharing plans with one another, I somehow got lost in a tangent of ideas, listing all the various projects I am anxious to do. My vision, it’s a big one, and I can get lost in it sometimes. Sipping my wine allowed for a brief pause, at which point my friend jumped on, and inquired matter of factly, “so, why do you want all of that?”

Pause for another sip. I had nothing to say. Wow, what a great question!

Why did I want this vision so badly? What was it about these ideas in my head that fueled my daily footsteps? I replied, but I don’t remember what I said. Instead, the word why penetrated throughout my mind for the rest of the evening. Why –while driving down lakeshore passing Gyro Beach, why, while brushing my teeth and why while absorbing the blackness of my room before falling asleep.

When you attach the why to something, suddenly there is a meaning. I had become too consumed with just doing-and forgot the reason why, I was following my dream

That night I dreamt of the women I once mentored under. When I discovered her, I was naive, influential, and totally inspired. She was a young, thirtysomething woman achieving many of the things I was interested in. A columnist-who had just signed her first book deal, and a producer wanting to star in her own TV program. To me, her accomplishments were amazing and I wanted to learn how she did it. At that time, before fame, she took time every month to have coffee with me, to help guide me along the way. That was three years ago.

I awoke with her on my mind and feeling a little more clear. Although I see her often- since her face is featured everywhere these days, I haven’t heard from her since that time. Nor have many of her original crews. She has achieved everything she set out to do-all in a short amount of time. Publicity has worked well for her. But, as I read her work, and follow her path from the outside, I am not really sure what it is she has to say. The depths of her work have been lost in the branding of her name. And although her progress is still inspirational to me, I just wonder if she remembers her why?

Sometimes we get lost in the wants and forget the why. Our ideas can eat our original passion-the feeling that started us dreaming to begin with. We become consumed with wanting more, that we forget what we already have. I don’t want to loose sight of the reason why I do the things I do even if the reason is as simple as, because it makes me happy. So my thought to you, is ask yourself why, and remember, this is life, it has to mean something, right?
©Desiree Daniel April 25, 200

Welcome to the era of Googling

I was watching Scrubs last week (brilliant writing-only the quick ones get it), in one scene a patient reefers to her palm pilot to investigate medical information. The older doctor, comfortable with the “old days” of medicine, was put back by a patient who. She quick and on the ball thanks to her little blackberry. It was evident; there would be no faking it or fumbling his way through. She was always one step ahead…as she researched the net for leading edge information; prescriptions, symptoms, medical conditions... her doctor. That’s right, she searched the net for info on the doc. He was flabbergasted, wondering, how she knew what she knew. At which point the nurse turned to him and said "you just got googled."
That line has stuck with me ever since. Wow. Have we really reached a point in society where googling someone to find out their details is normal conversation? Where even the everyday Joe can be found residing in cyber space. Welcome to the era of googling.
It was only a theory, until it happened to me.
An old friend that I hadn't seen in years (8 to be exact) was eating a bowl of curry, when he came across The Life You Make in Friday's paper; where my article nestles each week. It was the first time our paths crossed in almost a decade. A double take later, we were back in emailing action.
The next thing I know, we're cutting each other off in excitement, trying desperately to connect the dots of an 8 years absence. I was only twenty when we were together (which is really hard to believe… since…I thought I knew everything back then). Our friendship was pre traveling, pre degree, pre business, pre life coaching…in fact, it kind of felt like he was pre my entire life.
Then somewhere in the conversation, one subtle comment unveiled a detail, relevant only to someone savvy to my old site. It was over in a blink, but it did register... I wondered...how the heck did he know that? The beverages made me move on without asking more. And it wasn't until the next morning, while googling a story line, that everything came together.
I got googled!!!
No. It couldn’t be, could it? Was I google worthy? I tested it out. Typed in my company name... Simple Life Solutions, and there it was, seven listings down... an entry way to the old site.
Made me blush. It was cool, sort of. I was actually flattered he took the time to research me. But it also made me wonder. Where will googling take us in the next century? It is entirely possible, that someone, somewhere, could google you without you ever knowing. It's kinda like being naked...in your home, without realizing the window is wide open.
So my new theory-be bold in your movements. Impeccable with your words. Make a positive impact and create a life worth telling. Because you never know...where it will end up.
Enjoy the breeze of an open window!
© Desiree Daniel April 14, 2005

@#* the Cleanse!

It was a Sunday morning, after a late night of friends, music, …and Okanagan wine that I decided it would be smart to go on a cleanse. I had just finished reading “The Four Keys to a Long Life” by Ron Garner, and learned the importance of regular detoxification. The concept intrigued me, clearing the body of toxins and harmful substances for a renewed body and a fresh start.

The first time I paid attention to cleansing was during my training as a life coach. Many of the students were health conscience individuals, seeking natural and alternative ways to care for the body. But, I never tried it, because the thought of drinking only lemon water for fourteen days terrified me-oh the hunger!

So, my friend, Megan and I challenged one another and decided to try it out. We began researching different cleanses and chose one most appropriate to our lifestyle (i.e., I could still eat food). Seven days of purification.

Day one: “Informative Day”. We read label after label, dissecting ingredients, shopping only in the aisles of raw, wholesome goodness. We were ready to take it on!! Barley with steamed veggies and lemon juice! Wow. I could feel my organs coming back to life. In fact, I believed this could be the answer to the next area of my life. Forget the chocolate, the wine, the appie table at parties. It tasted ok and it was good for me. Why had I not thought of this sooner?

Day three: “Hump Day”. If we could make it past this day, it would be smooth sailing. Or so we thought. The headache was very apparent…as was the irritability (was my phone always so darn loud!!!). As expected, months of sugars, yeast, and other toxins were finding their way out, and affecting our sanity in the process. An email came in, from Megan, explaining that her co-worker offered to pay her-“if she would PLEASE, go off the cleanse and bring back “nice” Megan.” I understand cleansing is healthy, but I had no idea it was going to be an exorcism of toxic waste.

Day Five: “Oh no…Cravings Day”. Somebody please, find me a chocolate, a cookie, a teaspoon of sugar, or something. Something that tastes like anything!

Day 7: “Forget the Cleanse Day”. I woke up on day seven, hungry, tired. Using every bit of strength to remind myself why I was doing this- “Come on Desiree, this is a little dramatic…isn’t it? You are an active, young women, who makes healthy choices in life. A little cleanse only strengthens the spirit.” Visualizing a latte, while I sipped green tea, I opened my morning email-Megan’s name flashing violently at me. The subject read, in bold: #@* the cleanse!! – furthered by a little memo describing her morning scone and latte that she was savoring bite by bite.

I assumed she was done with it. I lasted until the end, but finished my day with a glass of wine. I was “clean” after all. So a little wine wouldn’t hurt. Megan and I talked of the experience afterwards. She questioned why she didn’t make it and why it was so hard? We both believed in how it would benefit our body. But sometimes it’s hard to see the bigger “picture” -when you are in the middle of the work. Megan also questioned her will power, as do we all, when we feel we didn’t achieve our goal. Yet, here is a girl who altered her entire life to run a half marathon and fundraise $6000 for diabetes. I assured her, she had will power. The thing is, when you want it badly enough…you do it. For Megan and I, healthy bodies are definitely a goal. Perhaps we’ll just have to take it one bite at a time.

© Desiree Daniel April 8, 2005

Titles

What is a title? According to Webster, a title identifies the name given to a book, play, film, musical composition, work, or person. In short, a title describes what we’ve done, or what we do. There seems to be so much weight put on titles, since we wear them everyday. In fact, many of us are driven toward a title hoping it will provide us with inner satisfaction. It’s a natural evolution in the life of a career. But what does it really mean?

Recently, I was asked to offer my thoughts on a job description. As my coworker and I read over the words, we sat in silence. Our eyeballs moved from the page to one another, not making a sound; obvious something was bubbling for each of us. Finally after I noticed his eyebrow flinch, we started laughing. The write up was so complicated we had no idea what the actual position was for. Kudos to the creative who wrote it, because it was extremely imaginative, I just questioned how realistic it was to the actual duties required. What happened to our society that we feel we need to sugar coat everything? Why don’t we just say it like it is? Like the KISS principle, Keep It Simple Stupid. Let the person find their own meaning in what is, rather than feel cheated from unrealistic expectations. I wonder if we go so far beyond the core, in an attempt to add value and purpose, that we actually loose sight of what actually is. Purpose should be found inside ourselves… not from a title.

And yet it is a constant struggle. Titles pop up everywhere.

A consultant told me that the most important thing about my book would be the title. Five agents who rejected my latest query said the same. It could be the very thing that makes or breaks the success of a book.

A respected business owner and I debated for hours, over my title in the company. He wanted to define me, as a “title”, by challenging me with the dreaded question “Who do you want to be remembered as?” Acting as the antagonist, he stabbed me with the very question I had been avoiding since third year University when all my friends were becoming titles; “teachers”, “accountants”, “doctors”, and I didn’t know what I wanted to be. I didn’t have a title. Confused. Misguided. Undirected. Those were the only names I could relate to.

Even as my experience unfolds, I try on the coats of different roles, and learn a wardrobe of skills; I still can never seem to find one title that fits. Which is why the job description made me laugh. It reminded me, that it doesn’t have to be that difficult.

After the long-winded journey of my twenties, I finally found peace in one fact. At the root of all titles, (sales associate, project coordinator, peer representative, coach, writer, marketer) there is one common denominator. Me. You. At the end of the day, when all is said and done, I am many things to many people. As are you. My titles change depending on my scenery. But I don’t. Well, my passions don’t. So really, the only title I ever need be remembered by is Desiree Daniel. I just hope no one asks for a job description on that.

© Desiree Daniel March 31, 2005